Tag Archives: Israel

The Genital Mutilation So Nice, You Have to Get it Twice — Posted to Heeb Magazine on 10/06/10

Jewish babies’ worst fears were realized Sunday. Israel’s Chief Rabbinate announced that a Mohel from Haifa botched thousands of circumcisions and the babies might have to go under the knife, round two styles.

The mohel, who was well-known and performed hundreds of circumcisions a year, is not allowed—surprise, surprise—to perform circumcisions any longer, Ynet reports.

This situation came to light when several rabbis attended a bris and concluded that either all their penises were deformed or someone was deforming the baby’s. The rabbis presented their suspicions to the rabbinate, which found that in fact it was the child’s penis that was improperly circumcised.

In order for a brit milah to follow halacha the whole foreskin has to be taken off. What was happening in this case was, to quote Babs and Dustin Hoffman in Meet the Fockers, “A cross between an ant eater and—“ “A German army helmet!”

Despite the fact that the son’s penis will look “weird,” Rabbi Moshe Weisberg, a member of the inter-ministerial committee of the Health Ministry and Religious Affairs ministry for oversight and training of mohels ruled that the bris can be ruled retroactively kosher.  But with incredulity Weisberg adds, “If it were my son, I wouldn’t think twice,” he said.

And many parents have in fact already taken their child to undergo corrective surgery.

My guess is that this whole “botched” circumcision thing was just the mohel giving an enormous “fuck you” to Greg Callender by saying, “You don’t want them to have one circumcision, well I will make them have two!”


Cow Attacks Northern Israel, No Known Terrorist Link — Posted to Heeb Magazine on 08/29/10

A cow rampaged through a northern Israeli shopping center Wednesday, injuring one woman and damaging several cars, Ynet reports.

The cow broke off from a herd grazing near the “Big Shopping Center” in Nesher. According to Magen David Adom paramedic Kobi Ben-Haim, It took over an hour to remove the bovine from the center. In that hour the cow hit a woman on her back, injuring her lightly, and struck several cars that got in the way.

“The incident could have ended in disaster,” Ben-Haim said, “‘People saw death flash before their eyes.”

As of now the cow does not appear to be personally tied to any terrorist cells but its owner is being questioned.

Palestinians Continue Vicious Cycle. . .of Dancing — Posted to Heeb Magazine on 07/12/10

Because one-upsmanship has been and always will be the name of this geopolitical game. Even when it comes to doing something really gay.